adoringpast | ic inbox for recolle part deux;

[pfft. sorry, leo's hands are coming to the rescue, gently slipping in to take the wires from mitzy and untangling them.]

You've gotta be gentle, Mitzy, or you'll ruin their sound! Are you nervous or something? Here, here.

[just a tease, and once they're at least manageable he'll let mitzy do the rest and go get what he'd ordered ♪]

[ hmph! ] I'm not nervous?

[ at least he thinks he's not? there's no awful knot in the pit of his stomach or anything like that, but he's still not sure on how to properly introduce this leo to the leo in their memories... music has yet to fail them though, so he still has hopes that everything will go smoothly from here on out.

probably. even if the thoughts of "who broke tsukinaga-kun" haven't gone away at all, sena will do his best in trying to remember who did it without triggering it in leo's mind. yes, such a perfect plan.

the sushi is on its way, the headphones finally freed as sena hands him one bud and puts his own into his ear and plays one of the weirdly labeled songs there. it has that knightly flair, fit for their former image as knights, though it sounds a lot happier than some of the original counterpart's works. it's almost childlike, even. ]

[leo picks at a tempura shrimp while he listens, taken by the gorgeous boy beside him and the childish tune in his ear. it's not bad though. it's lively and-- well, it's full of life, it's got the thing that leo feels is missing from pieces of his own at times, and a sludgy, burning feeling lingers in his gut as the notes sing.

he doesn't want to talk, so he watches mitzy instead, leaning on one hand and eating with the other. there was an odd closeness that he'd felt in the memories, more in the sense that they were comfortable with one another, and a part of him aches for it.

the other parts isn't sure how to feel and rejects the notion almost entirely, wanting him to withdraw.

when it fades out he tilts his head, looking away thoughtfully.]

... Mind if I borrow that for a few days? I sort of feel like I might remember something if I do.

[it's a lie, but. well.]

[ sena feels the exact same way, and even moreso because he's gotten more memories about them than him. it's sad, really, that they must've been very close back in the day, and even if sena keeps pushing him away in this world he often tries to worm himself back into his life again, albeit unintentionally.

or maybe it was intentional, and that sena's just a coward for not facing this head-on as he should. it's about time they get to know more about each other, but it's what leo said - he's never going to be the same leo in his memories.

he bites down on a mackerel sushi, savoring it, before looking back at leo who's pointedly looking away. mm, this hurts a lot, you know? ]

They're your songs anyway - or at least, the person who you'll be getting more memories from. Be my guest.

Thanks. I won't lose it, promise.

[because it's still his in the end, not leo's. even if the songs on it are... his? in a way.

he's gonna cycle through more songs while they eat, by the way. just for background music. leo looks back at mitzy and lingers on his lips for a moment, then at a point over his shoulder.]

Do you like them? The songs on here. Are they your cup of tea?

[ hmm, that's kind of tough because technically THEY'RE THE SAME GUY but specializes in wholly different music genres. ]

Yeah, in a way. They're closer to my type of music, and... [ this kind of hurts to say out loud lmao ] You can tell that a genius is behind all that.

[ ugh. just gonna munch on a tempura before he says anything stupid again. it's not too stupid and hopefully leo's the type to accept constructive criticism anyway, but sena would hate being compared to in his past life if someone else knew about that.

considering that. you know. that he's a fucking creep back then. ]

That guy from before... He actually received some songs from Retrospec. Our songs. As a unit. [ now it's his turn to turn away to look down at his plate of food. ] We all sounded great together, if I have to be honest.

[stupid and awkward. leo winds the thin connection between him and sena around his finger delicately, these memories, and wonders if he shouldn't give up. it's not like either of them are going to be the person in their memory; leo will never be that leo or the one before, sena won't ever be the sena that he was apparently close and comfortable with in his memories.

ah, fuck it.]

Wanna try a song? I mean, I only know you and Rittsu as part of "Knights", I don't know if there's anyone else... But these sort of songs feel like they need more than just one voice. You know?

[ he blinks up at him, surprised ]

Wait, you don't know?

[ how has tsukasa not told him yet?! ]

Don't know what.

[????????]

[ nnnnnn, kasa-kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun - ]

Kasa-kun... He was part of Knights too.

[ this really is awkward... so much for a not-date. ]

Really?! Even though he sounds so terrible in this life?! Ah, that's great, that's great!

[apparently, uh, just awkward for one of them..? leo is beaming. he seems so pleased.

and then it falters a bit, gaze flicking back to the ipod.]

I mean... Mm, I figure Tsuka-tan knows this already, but I remembered I had a little sister, not a little brother, so I already know we're only related in this life... But I'm still happy that we have some sorta thing together. ♪

[they're sort of opposites in a lot. tsukasa's good at poetry and watercolors, leo's good at singing and parkour.]

I'm giving him vocal lessons anyway, so I'll just use the songs on here for practice. Then we just need to drag Rittsu into it and we'll be a set! Mitzy, you'll sing too, right? I wanna hear that pretty voice of yours again. ♪

[ oh, he's happy about it... that's unexpected, but not at all unwelcomed, and he's even stifling a giggle at the thought of tsukasa not being able to sing that well in this life. no wonder he fell so hard for an idol... ]

We're still missing one person, you realize. Knights was a five-man band. Unit, rather.

[ google how to kick someone's ass back to retrospec

but the thought of singing that leo's songs again is making him uneasy for some reason, and it shows on his face. sure he prefers those songs from that era, but that's only because of his taste. singing those songs would mean that he'll become izumi in a way, and it's something that he'd rather not go back to. ]

Besides, I don't remember being actually on board about this? I haven't even listened to the entirety of your discography yet. [ he's totally delaying the inevitable. ] You have to do better than that before you can recruit me to your band or even start singing for you. I'm not going to be free all the time.

You're free right now though, and I can't stop thinking about how you sound. So sing with me.

[even if sena's uneasy -- no, because he is, maybe. and it's a with. a with, not a for like back at the club.]

[ anyone should be flattered with those words, but how many times has leo said that to any other singer? any other boy out there would've been better suited to sit with him in this restaurant compared to someone who's forever aimless like sena, yet here he is.

and sena absolutely hates it, and it's why his stare has become cold, his voice laced with venom to protect himself. ]

You don't just get to say that? Just who the hell do you think you are?!

[ who?! ]

[oh, what the fuck did he do wrong now.

leo's immediate reaction is to slouch and scowl, eyes narrowed in a returning glare that's fiercely heated in defensiveness, body rigid as he mouths off.]

What's your problem? Didn't you say you had fun in those music classes? Don't you like singing? Even if you hate me, can't you put that aside and-- and have fun? Or is there a stick in your ass that's holding you up?

Don't just put words into my mouth like that. Of course I love singing! Why else would I still take this major if I didn't like it? It's really all I'm ever good for at this point anyway.

[ — ah, that. slipped out.

hm.

time to shut himself up with sushi, shh. ]

[ah, hm.

leo stares at him, expression losing some of its harshness, and then he stands and walks away...

... only to return with more mackerel and some fatty tuna, sliding the first to sena and settling down again. quietly, surprised the other has such a poor esteem of himself.]

You're really good at pissing me off too, if you wanna add that to your resume. And talking people down. Keeping professional, too. Can't name more 'cause I don't know you that well, but singing's not all you're good for, and not all I want you for.

[which could sound more flirty, considering what it is, but he's got a quieter tone to it, eating his tuna.]

I bet your friends would have plenty to say, though. Don't say things like that, Mitzy, they're not true.

[ mm, he hates this - the vulnerability, not the mackerel. but since leo had admitted his own faults back at the wintry forest of magatus, he supposes that he should be a little bit fairer. ]

I don't want you to start pitying me or whatever, but why else would you put up with my bullshit? It's because of my pretty face, isn't it?

[ sigh ]

I only took up music because I want to prove to people that I can be good at something else other than modeling. I was already born with a great singing voice anyway, but it isn't enough... And to be honest, I don't really have the drive for it anymore now that I'm pretty much fated to stick to modeling full-time once I've graduated.

[ admitting that he's still pretty much aimless after hearing leo's grandiose dream really hurts. makes him want to curl in on himself with shame. ]

You can chew me out on that if you want. I know I'm being too much of a hypocrite here.

Yeah, you are, but chewing you out won't change anything.

[it'd feel pretty good though, eyeing sena thoughtfully for a moment before leaning on his hand.]

I want to know more about you, Mitzy. Your pretty face is great, sure, but we share memories, you know? How many people can really say that? And who has their life figured out at our age anyway? I told you, I've just had this dream for a while pretty much by chance, I'm pretty sure most people just do something they're good at until they find something they want.

[his own friends not included. nazuna and kuro have their own share of issues, but that isn't part of it.]

Mm. You're actually on to something for once.

[ leo does raise a lot of good points that quelled his anxiety for a bit, and tbh it's more than enough. ]

I know how that felt, you know. Being on stage like you said. It was amazing. [ a wistful smile as he leans back on his seat, staring at the light fixture above them. ] If I could, I'd want to experience something like that one more time before I can make a decision on where I want to go with my life. I guess I'm just too used to do it by myself all this time.

[ you're just tsun you bitch ]

[you dumb bitch you're tsun

but leo relaxes more, grinning widely at the shared feelings and stealing some of sena's food while he's looking away.]

The offer's always open. I'm gonna do a little thing with my feline friends later this month if you want to come by and watch... maybe join in if you feel like it. They're gonna sing some tunes and jump around.

[ don't think he didn't catch that ho, he's going to steal some of that fatty tuna as retaliation, but as he was about to bite down on one - ]

Feline friends?

Me and the city cats are friends, bonded by homelessness and free food.

[he gives them the free food.]

So I've been teaching them this and that. You wanna see a preview?

[ that's really cute, oh no... the cats, not leo. ]

Sure, let me just -

[ but before he can put the ipod away, an unpleasant yet very familiar voice comes up in the middle of a song, loud and completely tone deaf. and sena's blood immediately runs cold because that's his voice, isn't it?!

yes, it was, and he's wincing in pain because he's never heard sang like that before in his life and he's about to pull the earbud out of leo's ears and hide the iPod away, another voice pops up - cheerful and just as familiar.

"— Wahahaha ☆ Your face sure is beautiful, but your singing is way outta tune! Hilarious!

— But your voice is pretty, so I'm sure you'll get better with some training! I love it! ♪"

oh.

that sure is. something. ]

[it's weird to hear his own voice that's not really his own voice. it is, but he doesn't remember recording it or hearing the resulting ruckus of things being thrown. doesn't remember recording it now anyway.

but man, is the difference between that sena and this sena great. tone deaf... but hard working. not that this sena isn't hard working, but his pretty voice is already shaped, already honed like a sword, and well-taken care of to boot.

still, leo finds he likes the voice on the ipod, the sena who is tone deaf.]

... W~ow, talk about embarrassing. [the leo in their memories, too.] If that was their first meeting, then I guess he isn't very smooth either. I'm glad, he got the same sort of treatment I did~.

[small. small victories.]

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