adoringpast | ic inbox for recolle part deux;

[Sitting down on the couch, he lets out a long breath when Sena leaves. It was comfortable but he doesn't show any sign of sleeping on it. Now he just stares at the ground until he sees the glass of water. Taking it, he takes a sip as his eyes scan over the apartment. It's nice and what he expected for Sena.]

Thanks.

[Ritsu really didn't think through how to start it just that he was finally able to regain his emotions after they all returned from their 'trips'. Still how does someone start this? Well here goes nothing.]

Secchan, do you ever see something that just makes you mad but part of you knows it makes no sense to be mad...but you still get upset? You can't control it.

[ he sits down on one of the plush seats, mulling over ritsu's question. ]

I feel like that everyday, actually. I'm all too aware of my temper.

[ at least he acknowledges it? ]

Why do you ask though? You're the last person I expected to get so mad at something so simple, to be honest.

[At least he can see Sena is willing to talk to him about this for real. He is a little surprised at the question but then again, he knows Sena can have a temper.]

Mn...

[He nods before he rubs his neck and continues to look to the ground.]

I'm not...I've never felt like this and it's confusing, Secchan.

[He should clarify what he means though.]

Have you felt like that towards a person? Just seeing them close to someone else makes you feel crazy?

[ oh. that topic, huh. gotta choose his words carefully. ]

There was that one time with Keito, but that was it.

[ he cants his head at ritsu, eyeing him closely. ]

Are you jealous at someone, Kuma-kun?

[Admitting him not having control of his emotions was something he didn't like but he trusts Sena.]

Really?

[Quiet for a moment he brings a hand to his head and lets out a sigh.]

Is that what it is? But how can I be jealous of... [A friend? Now he needs to get information without giving away the identity of the person.]

Don't you usually feel that for someone you're dating?

Don't be so naive. You don't need to be in love with somebody in order to be jealous of somebody. Maybe it's because someone's getting more of their attention and you can't help but feel inadequate.

[ speaking from experience here, but doesn't everyone? ]

[Ritsu didn't think of it that way but that did feel right. Although he really did like spending time with the person too and not talking to him was hurting in a way. For now he rests his chin in his hand before looking to Sena instead of the ground.]

So it can be for a friend too then?

[A pause.]

Then is it normal to get worked up towards a certain person...and want to be closer to them than that person?

[Having friends is a lot more complicated than he originally thought it was.]

It's just confusing with the memories and feels like more? But is this me or the other version of me, Secchan?

[ is ritsu really this... naive? sure sena knows jack shit about love and all that nitty gritty but he ain't that stupid when it comes to jealousy.

maybe because it's been his driving force for the longest time, in a way.

but as for that last question - ]

Was your other self also this jealous? Of who?

[Growing up he had no friends so suddenly feeling things like this was new. Besides he didn't have parents to really explain a lot either.

For now he can tell Izumi is surprised by him and he just lets out a sigh before shrugging.]

Maybe? But maybe I just...feel closer to them because of the memories so what I feel is confusing now.

You keep mentioning memories... does this mean it's someone from that school?

[ oh. wow. more idol-idol romances... is this even allowed? ]

[Ritsu's face moves to a blank expression, trying to not show too much details to give it away. After a moment though he figures it's not going to work with Sena not when he was too carefree with his questions and details.]

Yeah...I just want to be sure it's me who wants to be close to him and not...the memory?

That's...

[ that was the reason why he keeps encountering makoto, wasn't it? ]

That's up to you and that person in this world now. I usually don't believe in shit like fate and destiny but sometimes meeting up with that person again in this life can be too much of a coincidence to simply ignore it.

Like I said, it's really up to you. What's he like anyway?

[There was a lot to take in with every memory and all of them meeting again in a new life was close to destiny in a way. Although Ritsu wasn't someone that completely believed things like destiny either.]

It is hard to push aside, even with all of us. Knights, the school...everything.

[With the next question he feels a little nervous before running a hand through his hair.]

He's younger here than he was in the memories. [Ritsu is pretty sure it might be a dead giveaway for Sena now.]

[ at least they have that in common. ]

It is but we can always start anew here, right? You don't have to dwell too much in the past at this point.

[ but hm, that's interesting. too bad nothing's pinged at sena's mind yet. ]

Our ages now are inconsistent from what we remembered - Can't you just tell me who it is instead of beating around the bush? Don't make me ask the chat.

[ he has his phone with him right now, don't test him. ]

[Oh to have these problems.]

Mn, yeah but the memories aren't always bad either.

[Ritsu notices the phone and is he wasn't so tired he would grab for the phone. Instead he just pouts and then rests his head on his hand again.]

Don't. Secchan...you're brutal.

[He already embarrassed himself with Mao he doesn't want the chat to know too.]

It's Maakun.

...Mao?

[ his childhood friend?

oh.

okay. ]

You're jealous of Mao?

[ GIVE HIM THE DEETS KUMA-KUN ]

[Sena repeating the name was like driving the stake further into his heart. He continues to pout not daring to look at Sena's face, it was too embarrassing for him.]

I said his name didn't I, Secchan?

[He knows Sena won't stop there and with the threat of the chat knowing he knows he needs to give more details.]

...I don't like seeing other people spending more time with him than me.

[Just the sentence makes him blush a little.]

[ nope, sorry, he's going to keep staring at ritsu weirdly because seriously ]

Why? Ignoring the age difference now, were you two a couple in our pasts or something?

[Secchan please...

The way Sena was staring at him only causes Ritsu to look harder to the ground. Until he feels that the other won't let up anytime soon. Looking to him now it's clear he's still flustered.]

I don't know why. We were always together...It seemed. We even fought over Maakun not calling me by a nickname.

It just hurt and made me upset to see him with someone else.

That's...

[ hmmm. sena knows that feel all too well. leaning back on his seat, he crosses his arms in thought before glancing up at him again. ]

Seemed that you were either a couple or just a really clingy friend.

[ that's just how it is. but - ]

That's fine. I... I also went through the same thing too. In my memories.

Then...how do I determine if these are my feelings or they're influenced by the other me?

[It was a mix of emotions for him but one of the big things is that Mao is not an adult still...he's a kid.]

It could have been both too.

[He adds on as a hand combs though his hair before looking to Sena at his comment. Ritsu had confronted Makoto but didn't want to tell Sena that...not right now anyway. Plus he wasn't sure if it was about Makoto, best to know for sure.]

You have? How are you handling it?

[ oh you know, just fine. as in he completely projected his feelings for makoto to his own modeling junior in this real world and until now they still haven't completely made up

so basically it's like what happened in their world but with bigger consequences this time. amazing, right?

sigh. ] It's hard to tell, Kuma-kun. As far as I know, I don't feel like that towards him in this world, and I don't want to be.

[ it's dangerous, and it could mean a Bad End for everyone else involved. best not go through that. ]

Have you talked to him about this? Did he remember anything about you?

[That's rough Secchan...]

So you've been avoiding him then? If you don't want to feel that way, it does make sense to do that. It just seems like so much happened with a lot of us in the other world. Sometimes it feels like both are starting to mix and combine together here.

[Like he was almost becoming that other version of himself, maybe that's why it made him a little more on edge about it.]

...I kind of snapped at him. We were painting a lighthouse and he said I was late because of sleeping in. So...I just kind of got more annoyed and snapped.

[It wasn't pretty for anyone involved.]

He remembers things like nicknames and us always together...

Actually, I haven't. We keep running into each other for some reason, so it's kind of unavoidable. And I did want to check up on him, but I made Nazunyan do that for me in case I... relapse.

[ into a stalker. but he looks up at ritsu's own account, raising an eyebrow. his first instinct is to immediately scold ritsu for freaking out on mao like that, but that'd make him a huge hypocrite, right? ]

First of all, if you ever do that to Mao again, I'm going to kill you. [ probably. look, they had a longass heart to heart a couple months back. ] Second, an outburst like that is understandable since I've been through that myself, but if Mao did remember shit about you guys being together, you shouldn't have nothing to worry about.

[ ... ]

Mao's a good kid. Pretty sure he has too much on his plate right now as it is. We shouldn't add more to that.

Doesn't help that we all have some common history with the school and all.

[Relapse? That did sound scary he really hopes that Sena will be okay. When it comes to his freak out, he didn't need the scolding he already felt like crap. At this point he should be better at handling his emotions, yet here they are.]

...Sorry. [Ritsu rarely snaps at Mao he really is one of his few friends here.]

I just don't think it was in the way that I feel like I'm feeling?

[When Sena says the last part, he kind of expected it but at the same time...it did kind of hurt. Though he knows it's true.]

So I should probably just keep whatever I'm feeling to myself then.

ic inbox for recolle part deux;

action;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)